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"Do what you believe you must and leave the interpreting of it to others" (Andre Malraux)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Demise of Best Farms Drive-Thru Feed Barn

I’m working on my résumé, trying to see how I can collapse my broad experience into a tasty nutshell for employers in this current competitive market. Doing so made me nostalgic for some of the jobs I have had in my distant past. Although I prefer constructing a big picture view, I have also had my share of ‘in the trenches’ work and have never been shy at getting my hands dirty when needed. One of the more physically demanding jobs I have had was when I was still in my early twenties. It was also a job where I worked for a boss who was perhaps one of the most honest men I have ever met.

For eighteen months I worked at the Best Farms Drive-Thru Feed Barn in Anderson, Indiana. Picture a warehouse structure, open at both ends. Skids of animal feed and water softener salt line either side of the barn. Vehicles drive in. We load the vehicles up with the required number of fifty pound bags of animal feed (or 80 pound bags of water softener salt). We take their money, make change, and they drive out. All day long. All year long. Hot in the summer. Freezing in the winter. You have not truly driven a fork truck until you’ve had to drive one up an ice-covered outdoor ramp.

We worked as a team. Boys being boys, we would try to outdo one another: I’ll take two bags of feed to the truck at one time; Well, then, I’ll take three bags; Well, then, I’ll... And somehow we made it through many a back-breaking day. We also sold hay and straw and would go with Gene Best out to his farm to load bales of both to bring back to the store. Hefting those dense SOBs is sure to give any city boy new found respect for farmer strength.

But the true strength of the Bests was their integrity. They loved their business and worked hard at it. They would go not only that extra mile, but add another one on top. They always kept a narrow profit margin, wanting the business to succeed but also wanting to ensure they were being fair to the customer. I looked them up to see how this “since 1989” Mom and Pop business was doing and discovered, much to my great sadness, they had been foreclosed on in 2008. Another victim of the current economic state.

In this current state of AIG bailouts and CEOs getting rewarded for bleeding funds from their companies, perhaps the Bests were simply too honest for their own good. Capitalism should not be a synonym for corruption, yet I see less and less entities taking more and more. I worry about not only finding a job, but finding a job with a company that is aware of its interdependence and wants to provide value not only to its customers but to its community at large. The bottom line is important, but how do we watch it without becoming blind?

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Philosophical Consideration of a Cat’s Mouth

Our cat, Christopher, sometimes bites. He bites when he is mad, when is playing, and when he is happy. Often there is no warning, much to my husband’s chagrin. Christopher will be purring contentedly on my husband’s lap, then suddenly chomp down on the hand that is petting him. Not done with malice, but it hurts regardless, leading to all kinds of familial commotion.

Sometimes, of course, I instigate such things. I mess with him, offering my own hand as a tempting target, then pulling it away so his mouth closes on empty air. He enjoys playing this game for a while, but then usually ends up biting a conciliatory object, which is more often than not a body part of my poor caught-in-the-crossfire husband.

Christopher recently placed a paw on my arm, wanting my attention. I was mulling over Merleau-Ponty and other progressive thinkers I read in the philosophy of mind course I took last spring. Our body is more than an instrument our mind uses to accomplish its goals. For the creation of the goals themselves come out of the way the body is constructed. We reach out into the world as our bodies allow. Towards such ends, our fingers seem key, as we not only grasp objects, but our individual digits differentiate so many things at once. At our fingertips is more than a trite phrase, but rather an expression of accessing the world and making it intelligible.

A cat’s paw, though it has five digits, doesn’t allow for human-like dexterity. It can swat things and flex and claw, but it doesn’t seem to allow for complex input by simply touching. It doesn’t glide its paw over objects to assess them. Christopher doesn’t seem to be aware of his paw beyond its either touching something or not. His mouth on the other hand…

His mouth seems to be one of his most important gateways to the world. Where we test things by touching them with our fingers, he bites them. Like with the touches of our fingers, his bites surely have a variety of meanings that the contact imparts to him. Such thoughts do not quell the pain caused by a mouth full of sharp feline teeth. But still, I can’t help but think about his expressive body reaching out into the universe and the wondrous, if painful, response of my own expressive body meeting him halfway.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Shingles

Shades of Thomas Nagel, but there is something it is like to have a disease.

Earlier this month, I came down with shingles. It started up innocently enough, with a few splotches of red hanging out near my right knee and another group of bumps where the thigh meets the pelvis. It looked like acne (at my age!) and I planned on scheduling an appointment to see the dermatologist. But within a couple of days, more places started appearing. Rapidly. My husband and I decided that it couldn’t wait for ‘first available space’, so instead I went to the DIDC the next day and had the nurse practitioner check me out. She guessed what it was and confirmed that guess with my doctor. I left with a script for acyclovir (5 times a day, for shingles), doxycycline (twice a day, for infection because of shame-on-me scratching) and 800 mg ibuprofen (every 8 hours for pain). I stopped the progression and the skin is healing…

But I can’t help thinking how disease itself seems to offer both encouragement to physical reductivism, yet also an argument against such views. Indeed, the nurse described it in physical terms as herpes zoster. Apparently when you recover from chicken pox as a child, which I did, the virus doesn’t go away, it just sort of hangs out waiting for an excuse to cause the trouble known as shingles. Obviously, the physical facts are always present in such a manifestation and that is how we treat it. Yet knowing such physical details even at a very fine biological level does nothing towards imparting what having shingles feels like. Indeed, now that I am outside that ‘situated body’ it is hard enough for me to remember what it really felt like. I remember discomfort and itchiness and even limping. The limping is especially interesting because I didn’t realize how much my ‘lived body’ was compensating for this lost affordance until the nurse pointed it out. I did notice the lessening of quick mobility and was vexed at this. But now I tend to remember it in a more abstract, analytical fashion that belies what I ‘know’ I felt.

So we have something that can be described in purely physical terms to generate a treatment. Yet the experience of it appears to transcend that sort of description. Indeed, in a way the experience doesn’t even seem to exist outside the experience. Description of the disease isn’t exhausted by herpes zoster, but rather that is just a correlate to disease with a capital “D”, which is most noticeably marked by pain and the lost of affordances; an alteration of the body’s being in the world. Viewed from that angle, disease seems to exist just as much ‘out there’ as inside of us.